Hey Kids : The Secret to Making Your Parents More Mellow on Training Drives

"Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends." Shirley MacLaine

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper." ~ Robert Frost

Does it make you nervous when Mom's right foot presses on that imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side of the car?

Maybe you're tired of hearing your parents scream: "STOP! BRAKE!! BRAKE HARDER!!!"

Well I have the secret that will turn your folks from terrified onlookers to friendly partners. In fact I have several secrets. Here check them out:

Secret #1 - When your parents start acting jittery, it's probably because you're closing in on traffic to your front way too rapidly. Try this little experiment. Next time you're approaching an intersection where traffic is backed up, make note of how quickly those little cars in the distance start getting bigger and bigger in your windshield. The faster they grow the more shrilly your parents will scream.

Secret #2 - If you tried the experiment mentioned above you'll see what I mean. Wasn't that fun? Only problem is those old kill joys won't let you drive for another week now. Bummer. You're going to have to find a way to calm the folks down. That means approaching other vehicles and objects on the road more slowly. You gotta learn to be more gentle with your parents and the brake. They can only take so much punishment.

Secret#3 - If you haven't already, learn to use your right heel as a pivot point. Plant it on the floor board between the brake and the gas pedal (aka the accelerator). The ball of your foot should be able to reach either one of these pedals easily. I know it seems awkward and unnatural to some of you, but you have to master this because it makes it easier and faster for you to swing over to the brake when you need it. If you have to pick up your entire right foot all the time it makes you tired and less likely to have your foot on (or even near) the brake at critical times.

Secret #4 - When you see a situation ahead that appears to call for a slow down but you are uncertain, take your foot off the gas pedal and pivot it so that it hovers over (or even rests on)the brake pedal. Your classroom instructor may have told you about this trick. It's called covering the brake.

Covering the brake will save you valuable time and space if you end up needing to slow down or stop. Remember - merely lightening up on the accelerator is not good enough. When you're trying to figure things out, your automatic reaction must be to immediately pivot to and cover that brake. At 40 mph this will give you an additional 40 feet of braking distance since you've saved the time needed to move your foot over from the gas to the brake.

Secret # 5 - The car is not going to come to a screeching and immediate halt the very second you put any pressure on it. That only happens in cartoons. After you've decided to stop in a non-emergency situation immediately apply enough pressure on the brake so that you can feel the brake pedal push back. That's right. Get rid of all the slack. You should be able to feel a slight slowdown.

As you get closer to the point where you must be stopped - press harder. The closer you get, the slower your car has got be going. Focus your eyes on where you want the car to stop.

Secret #6 - If there's a vehicle in front of you, plan your stop so that you'll be far enough behind it to see its back tires touching the ground. I'll say it again. Focus your eyes on where you want the car to be stopped.

If you learn and actually use the secrets above, your stops will be much smoother and safer - and your parents will be less tempted to raise their voices.

Bonus Secret - Don't accelerate towards red lights.

What's Your Driving Personality?

"It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try as we may we are never able to fully know ourselves as we are, especially the evil side of us" ~ Mohandas Gandhi

How does your personality shine through when you get behind the wheel? Are you the Dudley Do-Right of the the roadway who strictly obeys every rule in the book? Or did they base the movie Anger Management on your driving record?

Here's a nifty 60 question test to help you find your spot on the spectrum. Parents, this might help you see yourself through your teen's eyes. Remember, he's learning every little thing from you. You might want to see what you've been teaching him all these years.

Teaching Your Teen To Drive - Tip # 3 Critique On The Spot

"The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery" ~ Mark van Doren

Talk to your teen as you travel together. Give him the benefit of your vast experience by speaking aloud your stream of conciousness in regards to the traffic situation. Analyze the situation ahead just like you always do, but now remember to turn up the speaker system and let the kid hear the hundreds of observations and decisions you have to make to stay alive during a simple trip to the mall.

Your kid has been watching you drive for a long time. Over the last fifteen years you've made it look so easy he just might think he can just step in and do even better than the old folks.

Then he gets behind the wheel and finds out it's not as easy as it looks.

So help your teen sharpen his awareness, focus and decision making by including him in a continuous verbal expression of what you are seeing and reacting to on the cold, cruel road. After a few trips, get him to start talking too. This allows both of you to know what the other is thinking, seeing and planning.

I've found that it's best to compliment good moves and point out errors immediately and then move on. This is mainly because I want the student to get the news within the context of the action. So much happens during a driving session that he probably won't even remember the action I'm critiquing if I bring it up 15-30 minutes down the road - unless it was a near death experience.

You can also take the multi-media approach to teaching by incorporating body language and hand signals. Sometimes events unfold so quickly that words just don't do the job. If you see a car nosing out of a driveway, a simple gesture in that direction will alert your driver to the threat.

My Dad never did get the hang of that when I was a kid. He'd just scream "LOOK OUT!!!" and expect me to identify the hazard. All he did was spook me. Please be nice to your teen.

Anyway, now is the time to remind yourself of the safety hazards you notice while you're driving and communicate these to your teen as you travel. Remind him that defensive driving is all about anticipation.

Teaching Your Teen To Drive: Tip # 2 - Start Easy and Keep a Steady Pace

"Teaching should be such that what is offered is perceived as a valuable gift and not as a hard duty" ~ Albert Einstein

I know a lot of parents who throw their rookie driver onto the busiest road in town just minutes after the kid obtains her learner's permit. This might be a good approach if she has already had some "bootleg" experience on grandpa's pickup truck on a private farm road. It may not even be a bad idea if the kid has grown up driving ATVs, snowmobiles, and dirt bikes.

But, if she has had no experience with motor vehicles outside of being a passenger then this old "sink or swim" approach might just backfire. You'll make her fearful. It's difficult to teach people when they are afraid. After all, the Army doesn't put troops in combat before they've at least gone through basic training. A lighter approach is definitely in order.

Starting out in a quiet neighborhood and getting familiar with the car where she is not under heavy fire will make every one's life easier. Remember when she was a baby? She had to crawl before she could walk and she had to walk before she could run.

Once your teen can drive in a straight line and stay in the correct lane when taking turns, you can venture forth to the grocery store, school, the movies, where ever. Just not before she's ready.

It's crucial that she gets as much "wheel time" as possible. As often as possible. Repeated 15-20 minute trips spread over the week are much more effective than 3 hour marathon sessions conducted only once in a while.

Repeated exposure to the actual driving experience is key to understanding how things work on the cold, cruel road.

Teaching Your Teen To Drive: Tip # 1 - Keep Your Cool

"When anger rises, think of the consequences" ~ Confucious

The 1st rule of the Teach To Drive Club is -

DON'T YELL AT YOUR KID.

The 2nd Rule of the Teach To Drive Club is -

DON'T YELL AT YOUR KID. *

At least not while they're behind the wheel. Wait until you get home. Then you can vent all you want.

Really, I'm not joking. How do you feel when someone bawls you out? Do you remain focused on the task at hand? Or do you withdraw into the recesses of your mind - feeling defensive, angry, resentful, and hurt?

Same thing with your teen. High emotion will really screw up his driving performance, reduce his attention span, and become yet another one of many existing distractions.

Yeah, I know. It's really tough not to rant when the kids do something stupid and scare the devil out of you. Just remember that if you get over-excited, the danger increases for the both of you.

There are a few things you can do to help reduce your terror, such as:

• Use the vanity mirror on the passenger side as a rear view mirror for you...or buy a cheap suction cup from an auto-parts store.
• Paste a STUDENT DRIVER sign in the rear window or on the bumper. Maybe your fellow motorists will show mercy.
• If you have an emergency hand brake in the center console it will stop the car and should override the gas pedal. But go easy on it. A sharp yank could send your car into a spin.
• In addition to the hand brake (or if your emergency brake is a pedal), you can negate your young driver's heavy foot by pushing the gear selector lever from drive to neutral.

These techniques will give you more control over the situation when your teen is behind the wheel. You can slow or stop the action at will. Then you can deal with your child more calmly.

Remember, don't yell at the kid in the car. Driving and emotion are a bad mix.

* If you missed the subtle humor here go to Blockbuster and check out The Fight Club.